


The Other Shoe

by Castillon02



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Intersex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 03:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20039494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castillon02/pseuds/Castillon02
Summary: “I need to spell something out for you before we do this,” Q said.





	The Other Shoe

**Author's Note:**

> For 007 Fest's Trans Characters Day

The first thing that caught the eye in Q’s bedroom was the classy queen-size bed with its sturdy-looking wooden bedframe, but the Tardis curtains and the cat bed shaped like a Death Star were next in line; Bond found himself charmed. 

(Thankfully, the cats dozing in the bed had been unceremoniously dropped in the hall and the door closed behind them. One mission with an unexpected tiger was all it had taken to put him off of felines being in the room while he had his cock out.) 

The past two weeks had gone wonderfully—actually unexpectedly well, so far. Q had been funny, warm, hadn’t taken any of Bond’s shit, had talked entertainingly and passionately about work and even things that _weren’t work._ It was the exact opposite of what he got on a mission. Things even seemed like they might go well in the future, knock on wood. 

Only a part of Bond had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and now Q was trembling faintly and looking at him with a boy on a burning boat face, like the whole thing was about to go under. Oh, god, what if he had a deadly disease and only two months to live or something? That was so close to Bond’s usual affairs that it didn’t bear thinking about. 

“I need to spell something out for you before we do this,” Q said. 

Bond raised his eyebrows and wondered desperately if, with enough humor, he could dodge the impending shoe. “I think I already know my ABCs of sex,” he replied, glancing between Q and Q’s queen-sized mattress pointedly. “Arousal, blowjobs, coming…” 

“Dick,” Q said, glaring. 

“All right, understood, not the time for levity,” Bond said, raising his hands, only to ruin the gesture by saying, “You know you can tell me anything and I’ll only make fun a little bit.” 

Q closed his eyes, his mouth pinched tight. “Bond.” 

No, the shoe was definitely coming down, and he was only distressing Q more by being an arse about it. Bond hurried to sit down on the mattress and put on his best attentive face. “I’m listening,” he said, and then he blurted out the worst case scenario, fear and humor all at once: “You’re not a spy for SPECTRE, are you? Because that would really be the only thing…” 

That got Q to crack a smile, at least. “Not so dramatic a reveal as that, no,” he said. 

“That’s fine then,” Bond said, relaxing a little bit. “What is it?”

Q sighed, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides for a moment, and then he sat down next to Bond on the mattress. “To put it bluntly,” he said, his eyes trained on the opposite wall, “I’m a male intersex person. That’s just how I was born. Most relevant to our current situation, that means my genitalia aren’t the usual sort. I have, well, I have something like a penis, something like a vagina, something like testes, but it’s—ah, it’s quite ambiguous-looking down there. Not definitively male or female.” 

Oh, thank god. It was just that Q had a different downstairs! It was a downstairs shoe, not a treasonous one, or a deadly disease one, or even an “I’m only using you for sex, so don’t even think about developing feelings” one.

Fuck, a downstairs shoe was nothing! Well, obviously it was something to Q, but as far as Bond was concerned the crisis had been averted. 

“So you’re like a hermaph—” Bond started, only to be stopped by Q’s sharp look. “Not a good word?” he guessed. 

“Yes,” Q said tightly. “Look, if this is going to be a problem–” 

“It’s not,” Bond said immediately. He put a hand on Q’s arm, and when Q softened, he drew Q into a hug, curling his hands around Q’s bony shoulders, pressing Q’s body into the warmth of his. “Really, it’s not. Whatever you’ve got down there is fine by me.” He gave a squeeze to show Q that he really meant it. 

He’d actually had sex with more than one, er, intersex person, in the course of performing his missions, though this probably wasn’t the time to mention it. After the initial shock at the difference it had been quite the same as having sex with any other person, namely, a process of investigating that individual’s preferences and pleasures. However, in those particular cases he’d had the primary motive of uncovering information, and getting off had, as it were, come second. 

It would be much better with Q, pleasing each other and knowing that their satisfaction was the best and only reason for all of the messy, intimate, beautiful things that happened between them. 

Under his arms, Q let out a shuddering sigh, but he sounded a bit more confident when he said, “You know, I’ll be quite miffed if you pull my pants down and run away screaming after you’ve said you’re fine with it.”

Bond pressed a kiss against the nape of Q’s neck, nipping the salty skin there, and hummed with satisfaction as Q shuddered for a different reason. “I’ll pull your pants down, and there might be screaming, but it will all be on your part and it will be entirely positive,” he promised. 

That got Q to laugh. “All right, miracle man,” he said, unzipping his trousers. “Let’s put the shoe on the other foot, and you can show me what_ you’ve _got.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not part of the intersex community, so if I’ve accidentally said something inaccurate or offensive, please correct me! Constructive criticism very much welcome. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
